Cougars in the night, naughty ladies and a soon-to-be gelding

A recent visitor saw the ladies lined up at the fence line teasing the stallion, Dedier, and called them "cougars" as in describing older women who lust after younger flesh. Well, tonight our little farm had a cougar epidemic.

I was dozing peacefully on the couch, blissfully unaware of the action at the fence line… when my neighbor called to inform me that Dedier, the resident stallion, was caught in the fence. I jumped up and ran for my shoes hollering for Pete to hurry. If you have been here before than you know that the ladies are separated from the stallion with nine gauge wire fence enhanced with electric tape. The "D-Man" rarely challenges the electric in any real way. The ladies delight at luring him into it; he gets ZAPPED and then is wary of it for a day or two. But tonight, somehow, the electric was off. Combine that fact we have eleven ladies who do not seem to understand they shouldn't still be cycling at their age and we have a recipe for disaster.

So, I run down the fence line…Porter, Princess and Arcy are huddled around Dedier who has his front half completely in the ladies' field, his "business" part hanging and ready and his hind legs firmly entwined in the wire fence. If he was trying to knit himself into the fence he couldn't have done a better job.  My neighbors are there so I yelled for fence cutters. Dedier struggled a bit until I got to him. Within minutes I was trying to assess the cuts on his legs, Pete and Adam (the neighbor) were cutting the fence and those BAD ladies were further trying to entice that poor stallion.

I SCREAMED at the ladies to get to the barn. Everyone but the Princess ran. The Princess just moved out of my reach.

Ok, we were able to get D cut out of the fence but now we have a big, gaping hole and its past dark. Pete advises I put the ladies inside for the night. No permanent repair could be done at such a late hour. He promised he would get the electric up and patch the cut fence but if our resident HUSSIES didn't stay away from the fence we would end up right back where we started.

SO, the first thing I did was to grab the Princess! I'm not saying she is the biggest fence-line tramp…(ok, she is) She is the only horse on the farm I can out run. I walked her to the barn, put her in her stall and began the grueling task of trying to catch the rest of the mares. Keep in mind that both Lotka and Smokie have lost their halters and are running around NAKED, Sue thinks she is five years old and NONE of the mares really listen to me to begin with.

One would think that if I caught one mare there was a chance the others would follow me to the barn. And tonight, the chance was there…A FAT CHANCE! I caught Blue and Bel pretty quickly with a bucket of grain. Once I had Blue, Hana came right up to me. But the rest of the ladies kept me quite entertained running from one end of the pasture to the other. I'd just about have one willing to come to me when Dedier would start YELLING and get everyone all riled up.

Then it started to thunder and lightning. It was precisely at that moment that I lost it completely. I was standing there on the hill screaming at the top of my lungs that SOMEONE WAS GOING TO LOSE HIS *@&%25 TESTICLES. I'm not sure if Adam had already left at that point or not but my poor husband was pretty worried. He sure as heck didn't want me any more irritated than I already was so he poured D a heaping bucket of oats and begged him to SHUT UP! I could hear him rasping out a warning, "Don't you see what happened to the dog? The only thing he did to upset her was to ignore her when she called him. Just be quiet. It's just you and me, Buddy, and I'll sell you out in a heartbeat…"

An hour later we had all the mares inside… we caught them ONE by ONE. I was covered in chiggers and my husband, for some odd reason, was saying I should probably take something VERY strong for my sore leg so I could just pass out.

So, am I called the vet tomorrow and telling him to come geld that stallion? I told Pete I was but he claims he can have everything fixed long before Doc ever gets out of bed. Hmmm, we'll see. For now I just wonder what those pills were that Pete gave me…

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